The US Consumer Product Safety Commission hosts a database for information collected on the nation’s emergency room visits for 2013 and searching through their data you find all kinds of interesting, odd and unusual internet worthy cases.
Here’s the list of the most interesting things people tried to fit and got stuck in their rectum in 2013:
PENCIL
PENCILS
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
COLOGNE BOTTLE
LOTION JAR
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
BATHTUB STOPPER
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
SOCK
ICE PACK
END OF CURTAIN ROD
“PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH”
VIBRATOR
VIBRATOR BATTERY
COVER OF VIBRATOR
TIP OF VIBRATOR
“BIG PURPLE DILDO”
“PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM”
LIGHTER
TOY SUBMARINE
TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
2 HALVES OF BAR OF SOAP
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; “IT DIDN’T GO WELL”
They also gathered data on the things emergency room doctors had to fish out of people’s genitals:
Penis:
PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
ANTENNA
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
“WIDE WOODEN DOWEL”
NAIL
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
WIRE
MARBLE
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS
Vagina:
GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR
TOILET PAPER HOLDER
“LONG BLACK OBJECT”
AA BATTERY’S
COMPUTER MOUSE
SPOON
ELECTRIC DRINK MIXER
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM
These lists are anonymous of course, but the people who appeared on them certainly know who they are, however they should all fret not. It is a brand new year for a fresh start.